


IV. Hugs and Affection

by ShadowCas



Series: Where Do We Go From Here? (SPN Hiatus Creations 2019) [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Betaed, Gen, Hugging, Hugs and Affection, Long coda, M/M, Mentions of Sam Winchester/Rowena Macleod, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, SPN Hiatus Creations 2019, Worry, coda series, mentions of Rowena, week 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:45:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowCas/pseuds/ShadowCas
Summary: The Winchesters have some pretty big successes in assembling a team to take down Chuck. However, there's one absence that has Sam feeling down; Rowena is trapped in LA as chaos continues to brew in the cities. As Sam's worry reaches a new high, Cas has a suggestion for all of them: that they begin to show normal human displays of affection in order to cope with the stress of the Apocalypse.





	IV. Hugs and Affection

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to sweetness47 for beta-ing.

    Cas and Dean go through John’s journal and Mary’s notes, making sure there aren’t any contacts that they’ve forgotten about. So far, they haven’t had much luck: most are long dead, and the few others that they find are missing contact info, or they don’t pick up their phones.

    Sam, however, is doing decently well with their usual contacts. Cas catches the end of, “See you soon. Bye,” as Sam joins them in the library.

    “Well?” Dean asks.

    “Just got off the phone with Jody. Donna’s been at her place for a week, and Claire finally made it back from her hunt. All the girls are back together, so they’re gonna head out today and hopefully meet us in a day or two.”

    “That’s great,” Dean says, and Cas agrees. Jody’s family is a formidable team, and more than that, they’re wonderful people that Cas likes to have around. He feels that Dean and Sam are always in better spirits with them, too. “Garth? Bobby?”

    “No word from Bobby yet. Garth says he’s in, but until it’s go time, he’s going to stay with Bess and Rachel.”

    “Of course,” Cas says. It makes sense that Garth would want to keep his wife and daughter safe until the big fight.

    “You’ll never guess who did call,” Sam says, settling down at the table with a smile. “Jesse and Cesar.”

    “Huh,” Dean says. Cas throws him a questioning look. “These two hunters we worked a case with.”

    “More like we stumbled into _their_ case,” Sam clarifies.

    “Right, they were tracking down… uh… Cicada spirits. Sam, what’re they called?” Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to remember.

    “Bisaan.”

    “Bisaan! Right. Anyway, they were one of those rare hunting couples. Cool guys.” Cas’s heart warms a bit at the thought of two hunters, happily together. “I thought they wanted out, though. They had such a good shot.”

    “It’s hard to be ‘out,’ when it’s the end of the world,” Cas points out.

    “Exactly,” Sam says. “That’s pretty much what they said to me. One more fight to fix everything, and then they’re back to retirement.”

    “What about Rowena?” Dean asks. “She still living it up in LA?”

    Sam’s smile instantly slides from his face, suddenly giving him a very weary appearance. “They had another outbreak. Real bad this time, absolute chaos. Last I heard, she was barricaded safely in her hotel room, but there’s been no cell service for about a day now. And I don’t think she has all the supplies with her that she’d need to contact us by other means.”

    “Do you think she’ll be okay?” Dean asks.

    Sam lets out a little laugh, but it’s colored with a dark tone. “Yeah, well, she seems to think so, and when I spoke to her a day ago, she gave me an earful for even suggesting otherwise.” His shoulders slump. “I know she’s more than competent. She can handle herself better than any of us. But it’s really bad in LA right now. Really bad. Until she’s actually here, I just…” He hangs his head.

    “You worry,” Cas says, feeling a small pang on Sam’s behalf. Cas isn’t blind. He’s noticed, even if Dean stubbornly tries to ignore it, that Sam and Rowena have grown really close over the past two years or so. At this point, their friendship is very similar to Dean and Cas’s. They’re _best_ friends, although those words would never be spoken aloud.

    “Yeah, I guess. A little.”

    Cas frowns. If Dean was the one trapped in LA, Cas knows he’d be more than “a little” worried. But he has noticed that when Sam is upset, he doesn’t show much of it at all, not until he reaches the breaking point. When Cas is stressed, he hides himself away. When Dean is stressed, he gets angry. When Sam is stressed, he powers through it until the moment where it’s no longer possible to keep it all inside.

    “Are you okay?” Cas asks, hoping to coax something out of Sam so he doesn’t have to reach the boiling point again.

    Sam looks surprised to have even been asked the question. “Uhhhh…” His eyebrows scrunch. “No. I guess not.”

    “Do you want to talk about it?” Cas pushes further. Dean stares at him like he’s grown a second head, but Cas elects to ignore him.

    “Y-yeah.” Sam wrings his hands, clearly wanting to speak, but where to begin. “We set this whole thing off. Particularly me, I mean, I’m the one who challenged G—Chuck. And _she’s_ halfway across the country all by herself, in the very worst of this mess. I know she can take care of herself, but there’s only so much a person can handle, even when that person is Rowena.”

    After a moment of quiet, Dean chokes out, “Sam,” but offers no more. Cas suspects he’s too taken aback to find any more words.

    “I understand, Sam. It’s fine to be worried, even though you know she’s a capable fighter.” He frowns again, thinking. “Is there anything we can do to help you feel better?”

    “I could use a hug,” Sam blurts. Two seconds later, he looks absolutely mortified at his own request, face red. “I mean—”

    Cas doesn’t let him finish that sentence though. In his limited time on Earth, Cas has realized that the Winchesters don’t exactly show the normal amount of physical affection. People were meant to hug and touch, but for Sam and Dean, a manly shoulder clap is about the upper limit of what is shown. It’s been frustrating for Cas, as he becomes more and more human, that he hasn’t been conditioned to forego these root, biological needs the same way that his human friends have. Therefore, it takes very little convincing for Cas to close the space between them and wrap Sam in a tight hug.

    Cas is still angel enough to feel the immediate release of oxytocin from the physical contact, and with it comes huge relief. Yes, humans (and angels) were definitely meant to hug. Far more often than the one annual Winchester hug.

    Cas turns his head to beckon Dean over, but he’s surprised to find that the elder brother is already making his way over. Dean wraps his arms around both Sam and Cas, bringing an extra warmth with him that somehow makes its way into Cas’s cheeks.

    They stay there for several moments before parting, but even then, a closeness remains. “Thanks,” Sam says, just the slightest bit teary. He blinks them back far before they have the chance to spill over.

    “You don’t hug enough,” Cas scolds, seeing the window of opportunity. “Humans _need_ to hug,” he says, shooting a serious look to Dean as well. “I know this isn’t how the two of you ‘do things,’ but hugging is a natural stress reliever, and your typical coping mechanisms are far from healthy. I think you can make an exception to your ‘no chick flick moments’ rule for the Apocalypse.”

    The brothers look at him in shocked silence before Dean surprises both Sam and Cas with a booming laugh. “Yeah, okay, I think we can do that. C’mere, Sammy.” Sam lets out a small cry of protest as Dean pulls him into a hug that more resembles a headlock and ruffles up his hair. Sam shoots him an annoyed look, hair frizzed up and sticking up everywhere, but lets this odd display turn into a real hug that actually lasts several seconds.

    It might just be a Winchester record.

    As Dean pulls away from Sam, he levels Cas with a look. Cas hopes he hasn’t overstepped with his strong suggestion, that was practically an order, but Dean looks pretty at ease, and he says, “Y’know, Cas, you may be right,” opening up his arms for a hug of their own.

    Cas immediately pulls in, his chin fitting perfectly in the crook of Dean’s neck. Once again, warmth blooms up in him, and his heart suddenly beats a bit stronger in his chest. He muses over this for a moment until they pull apart, and as Cas’s eyes meet Dean’s bright green ones, he comes to a startling revelation.

    Hugging Dean is very different from hugging Sam.

    This, of course, unwittingly leads him to another revelation that is very inconvenient to have as his arm is still pressed against Dean’s: He is in love with Dean Winchester.

    It’s not that Cas wasn’t somewhat aware of it before. He’d have to be terribly unobservant to not notice that the closeness he shared with Dean was more than the typical amount. He also knows that it’s not exactly normal to imagine kissing one’s best friend, but these are the types of things that he’s been able to explain away. His history with Dean is highly unusual. Why should their friendship follow the rules?

    But in this moment, Cas’s mind betrays him, and it finally voices those thought that Cas has been denying for years now: _I am in love with Dean_. And there’s no going back. Now that he’s admitted it to himself, he can’t undo it. It’s stuck there, in the forefront of his mind.

    Cas had never been bothered by closeness before, but he suddenly finds himself to be highly hypocritical in his request for more physical contact as he feels the urge to regain space between him and the brothers, especially from Dean, who is still pressed warmly against his arm as he jokes about something with Sam. This, of course, leads to a third revelation, that is not quite as startling, but might be just one thing too much for Cas to think about right now: Sam is in love with Rowena.

    Suddenly it all makes much more sense. Cas has been pining for Dean for years, and Sam, right now, is pining for Rowena. Because if Sam and Rowena are like Cas and Dean, and Cas _is in love with Dean_ , as his mind loudly reminds him, then that means Sam’s worry is entirely justified. It’s not that Rowena can’t take care of herself or is even any worse off in this apocalypse than the rest of them; it’s that losing Rowena would be a bigger blow to Sam than anyone else, save for Dean.

    “Earth to Cas,” Dean says, startling him out of his spiral of thought. He looks up expectantly. “You okay, man?”

    Cas smiles. “Just thinking,” he says, and it isn’t totally a lie.

    Dean throws an arm casually around his shoulders and flashes a grin. “Good.”

    Despite the dizzying rush this sends to Cas’s head, he really can’t regret his request for more physical affection.


End file.
